"I was told
The average girl begins to plan her wedding at the age of 7
She picks the colors and the cake first

By the age of 10 
She knows time,
And location

By 17 
She’s already chosen a gown
2 bridesmaids
And a maid of honor

By 23 
She’s waiting for a man
Who wont break out in hives when he hears the word “commitment”
Someone who doesn’t smell like a Band-Aid drenched in lonely
Someone who isn’t a temporary solution to the empty side of the bed
Someone
Who’ll hold her hand like it’s the only one they’ve ever seen

To be honest
I don’t know what kind of tux I’ll be wearing
I have no clue what my wedding will look like

But I imagine
The women who pins my last to hers
Will butterfly down the aisle
Like a 5 foot promise

I imagine
Her smile
Will be so large that you’ll see it on google maps
And know exactly where our wedding is being held

The woman that I plan to marry
Will have champagne in her walk
And I will get drunk on her footsteps

When the pastor asks
If I take this woman to be my wife
I will say yes before he finishes the sentence
I’ll apologize later for being impolite
But I will also explain him
That our first kiss happened 6 years ago
And I’ve been practicing my “Yes”
For past 2, 165 days

When people ask me about my wedding
I never really know what to say
But when they ask me about my future wife
I always tell them
Her eyes are the only Christmas lights that deserve to be seen all year long
I say
She thinks too much
Misses her father
Loves to laugh
And she’s terrible at lying
Because her face never figured out how to do it correctly

I tell them
If my alarm clock sounded like her voice
My snooze button would collect dust
I tell them

If she came in a bottle
I would drink her until my vision is blurry and my friends take away my keys
If she was a book

I would memorize her table of contents
I would read her cover-to-cover
Hoping to find typos

Just so we can both have a few things to work on


Because aren’t we all unfinished?
Don’t we all need a little editing?
Aren’t we all waiting to be proofread by someone?
Aren’t we all praying they will tell us that we make sense
She don’t always make sense
But her imperfections are the things I love about her the most

I don’t know when I will be married
I don’t know where I will be married
But I do know this
Whenever I’m asked about my future wife

I always say
…She’s a lot like you

Rudy Francisco (via katcossio)

OH MY GOSH I CANT HANDLE BREATHING RN THIS RESTORES HOPE

(via sksparkle77)

My favourite poet. 😊

(via eccentricbe-haviour)

(via the-humanthumb)


strengthgivesmecourage:

Anna Kendrick Birthday Countdown

» Day Two: Favorite Tweets

#loveher #sowitty

(via the-humanthumb)



thunderboltsortofapenny:

recoveringfrommyconvictions:

gaymerboy99:

littlelionmonster:

oldmanstephanie:

"Fuck You, Old People" — Group Piece at CUPSI 2014

"By the way, you can’t actually pick yourself up by your own bootstraps. That’s now how physics works."

FUCK. YES.

this gives me life….

"Act your fucking age" god damn, this has a good message here.

39 seconds in and I reblogged it

(via thenightbathroomblogger)



gnarly:

circumcising:

what did people even wear in 2008

apple bottom jeans and boots with the fur 

(with the fur)

(via experiment-628)


popmychieri:

gaydicks420:

last night i woke up because two dudes were fighting underneath my window and one dude kept screaming “BRO!! BRO YOU CALLED ME A BITCH IN FRONT OF THE WHOLE BAR BRO!! THE WHOLE BAR!! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT BRO??” he sounded so heart broken. why bro. why did you do this.

(via therootofunity)


(via penishole)


pineapplefiendwillriseagain:


This is my little baby cousin and he is dressed as a smoke detector for Halloween
None of us know why but he is really obsessed with smoke detectors
That’s all he’s asked for in the way of presents these past two years
He calls them “snoke edectors”
Also he has a scrapbook of everyone in the family posing with their smoke detectors
the end

pineapplefiendwillriseagain:

This is my little baby cousin and he is dressed as a smoke detector for Halloween

None of us know why but he is really obsessed with smoke detectors

That’s all he’s asked for in the way of presents these past two years

He calls them “snoke edectors”

Also he has a scrapbook of everyone in the family posing with their smoke detectors

the end

(via ohai-mg)


no-this-is-jarod:


public school dress code

no-this-is-jarod:

public school dress code

(via experiment-628)


Sibling selfie.  She hates me.  👍

Sibling selfie. She hates me. 👍



"When I go for a drive I like to pull off to the side of the road and run and jump into the ocean in my clothes; And I’m smaller than a poppyseed inside a great big bowl, and the ocean is a giant that can swallow me whole.
So I swim for all salvation and I swim to save my soul, but my soul is just a whisper trapped inside a tornado. So I flip to my back and I float and I sing, ‘I am grounded, I am humbled, I am one with everything’.”

"When I go for a drive I like to pull off to the side of the road and run and jump into the ocean in my clothes; And I’m smaller than a poppyseed inside a great big bowl, and the ocean is a giant that can swallow me whole.
So I swim for all salvation and I swim to save my soul, but my soul is just a whisper trapped inside a tornado. So I flip to my back and I float and I sing, ‘I am grounded, I am humbled, I am one with everything’.”



waytoomuchinformation:

tastefullyoffensive:

Artist Chris McMahon buys other people’s landscape paintings at thrift stores and puts monsters in them.

Previously: Artist Repaints His Own Childhood Drawings

This is still one of my favorite things ever.

(via theleftnippleofrichardramirez)